I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! Today was our LAST Sunday in Costa Rica. It has just flown by! My heart actually hurts from the thoughts that we are getting ready to go home.
Our time here as a family has been a huge blessing. We have learned so much and HOPE to bring what we have learned here, in just 25 days, home with us to Utah.
|The kids build a fort in a tree by the swimming pool/playground. (This was taken Saturday while I was taking my much needed nap. What a cool dad they have! I would have NEVER let them do this!)
The kids have had a lot of fun being in Costa Rica. I don’t know if they even understand that they have been living in a foreign country? But one day, this will matter to them!
I am just SO GRATEFUL that I get to be the mother of these 4 beautiful babies! I am SO GRATEFUL for the truth that I have been given, that FAMILIES CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER through our Savior, Jesus Christ.
I am SO GRATEFUL that I have the opportunity to learn from my mistakes, to grow, to have each new day to try again and to love myself through the process. I am SO GRATEFUL to not be alone in this journey! I am surrounded by family, friends, ward members, and even strangers who see me for who I am (especially when I don’t have a clue). They love me, encourage me, lift me up, carry me and forgive me when I do something wrong. My heart is truly full.
In our last Sunday here, we had lesson #32 in our Book of Mormon Sunday School class. The lesson was on “They Did Obey-Every Word of Command with Exactness.” It was about the 2060 Stripling Warriors who obeyed because their mother’s taught them to. It touched me so deeply.
It struck me so hard when I read this in the lesson today. I realized that I haven’t been turning my life over to God. I have been lonely, upset, bitter and even angry with my Heavenly Father because He wasn’t giving me what I wanted in this life. I was thinking purely selfish and unthankful thoughts. I have been behaving like a spoiled, rotten child . . . AND I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT!
I have decided to turn my sorrows, at not knowing why Paul has a job different from the norm of a 9-5 / non-traveling job, to JOYS. I have decided that instead of comparing myself to everyone else’s lives, that I would learn to accept mine for the beauty that it is. Instead of feeling different from everyone – thus feeling we must be doing something or possibly everything wrong – I have decided to TRUST that the Lord has guided us down this path for a REASON.
Even though I DON’T KNOW the reason Paul has this job, I can . . . “Trust in the Lord, with all thine heart, and lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6. That was actually my Senior Seminary Scripture for the year. I didn’t attend seminary as often as I should have, but I sure did memorize that scripture!
This scripture has single-handedly lead me on this path, called my life! I have endured more things than I would want my children to endure and I have done it only with trust, faith and at times, a smile. I have come to understand so many precious truths and they have come from the trials I have faced. NOT from shying away from life but by ACCEPTING IT and LIVING IT.
I am so proud of where I have come from and where I am yet to be. I had hoped that my little family would be moving to Costa Rica some time soon, but in all honesty, I am okay if we don’t right now. I would rather do something on the Lord’s timetable, than venture out and do it on my own. I am happy with this decision to come home and I look forward to applying many things I have learned in Costa Rica to my life in Utah.
I won’t ever give up on the dream to live outside of the USA or to give my kids the opportunities to “pop their bubble” and SEE the world with their own eyes. I want my children to accept ALL PEOPLE and to LOVE THEM FREELY! I want them to be a friend to all and to be warm and kind, rather than afraid or scared to live the life Heavenly Father has given them. I want them to be free to choose their choices but have an understanding of gospel principles to help them make those choices the best that they can be. I want them to be who they are meant to be, not who I think they should be.
So, I only hope, that as I tuck these little ones into the fort they have made to sleep in tonight, on K’s tile floor bedroom – OUCH!, that they will feel the love, joy and excitement I have for them and their lives ahead. This really can be a good life and it really can have joy in it, all while living gospel principles. I just hope and pray, that I won’t forget this when I return to “good old Utah!”
I am sorry to go on and on about this. It is just so deeply sunk in my heart, that I had to share it. I hope you will all feel the love I have for you and the peace and joy I wish for you. I know my Savior lives! I KNOW He loves us and wants what is best for us. That doesn’t mean that life will be easy or we will get what we WANT. It means that He will allow the opportunites in life that can shape us and change us genuinely for who we can and want to become. My only wish is for YOU to know this too.
All My LOVE FOREVER ~ Wendi