Post #44 – I need to keep climbing boulders

Hi everyone.  I’m sorry I sort of disappeared.  I do have a good reason for doing so.

My blog crashed!

Curly Cook – “WHAT?!?!  It did?”

Yep, it’s true.  I don’t know if any of you even noticed?

Curly Cook – “Come on Mom, there’s more people than you realize that read your blog.  They were probably just practicing patience.” (wink, wink)

Mom – “Then why are you sleeping Curly Cook, instead of reading what I am writing right now??”

Curly Cook – “Just playing around Mom!!  I look at your blog, especially for pictures of me.  But I don’t read it.  I’ll read it when I am older.  You’ll see.”

Well, until that day comes, I guess I will keep on bloggin’ away, writing down the little things and sometimes the big things that happen in our lives.  Thankfully my wonderfully talented husband made a genuine effort to not only get the blog up and running again but he figured out how to save the blog posts that had been ruined in the crash.  So . . . I am up and running again as if nothing had happened, except I haven’t been around for a few weeks.

I’ll be honest, the last few weeks have been a bit like deep water diving.  I have caught myself holding my breath more than a few times a day and I have had to work really hard to take a breath and remember I am meant to keep on breathing.

Paul’s trip to Honduras was AMAZING, to say the least.  I’ll have to find some pictures and post them another day.  I’ll also have to post about the “State of Emergency” Costa Rica declared just a few days before Paul was to come back home.   Alot of hot air is a good way to describe that experience.  I’ll have to expound another day.

This was all on top of the server crashing – thus my site and other sites crashed too; our house being for sale while juggling 2 house payments each month; our family car STILL broken & needing even MORE repairs ($$$); and our ward dwindling in attendance (so sad).  It just seemed like a lot of crazy sad was happening all around us, and around you too (floods, storms, hurricanes, crazy weather), so I found diving into deep waters to be my safest place to reside for the moment.

As I finally surfaced for a fresh breath of air, I did find that: my husband scraped up the money to put toward fixing the car, he also found a way to fix the crashed websites as well as restore our files, and a tender mercy was waiting for me.  I had been stressing about the ward and with all the crazy going on, I had erroneously not stopped to take stock of a VERY SPECIAL MIRACLE that had happened to me.  So I took a deep breath and relived the experience that had happened only 2 weeks earlier.

I had received a text message that our ward pianist wouldn’t be able to play the piano the next day, Sunday September 24th.  I lead the music at church and I really do not like singing along to the LDS digital music, nor do I like to sing a cappella especially during Sacrament Meeting.  I had the strongest urge to prevent those 2 choices from happening and since I am the ward music director, I decided that I could play the music for Sacrament meeting.

   Now, this is HUGE for me!  If you know me, I REALLY MESS UP when others sing along to me playing the piano.  But I have had a strong desire to be an accompanist since last February, mainly for our Primary children to have music in Primary one day (isn’t that a shame.  Can you imagine your child NOT having primary music on Sunday?) I have been practicing for months and months, only learning the chords for the left hand, but I felt I could at least squeak out some simple “Easy Hymns” for that Sunday.

And I did! 

I played all 4 songs and it went REALLY well!  My husband even said he was proud of me, as well as my children.  To be THAT vulnerable and humble took a lot on my part but the Lord made up the rest.  When I did mess up, because I do, the people just sang over it.  I was also amazed how much slower the people sang, compared to my practicing at home.  I found myself waiting to play the next chord, rather than being in a hurry.  Simply said, I enjoyed myself thoroughly!

While pondering on this miracle, I realized that although our ward is struggling to attend church faithfully, we are not without miracles or blessings.  My playing the piano was a MIRACLE to me!  To my family too!  Not having a ton of people to perform for was a HUGE blessing.  So although we are sad that people are not choosing to come to church and renew their covenants with their Father in Heaven, He is STILL blessing those who do.

The tender mercy I received was finding the courage to trust that we belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; it is HIS church, not ours.  Jesus knows what is going on.  He knows WHY people don’t come to church and He also teaches us how to NOT let others offend us and keep us from coming to church but to press onward, holding tightly to our faith.  Trusting in His timing and His plan is a joy and it is most important with our ward, as well as with our lives.

My in-laws sent this great message from last Sunday’s Mormon Tabernacle “Music and the Spoken Word” Broadcast.  I thought you might like to hear this also.

Face the Sun – Sunday, October 15, 2017

            How often have you caught yourself ruminating over something that happened in the past, wishing you had said something or done something differently? We’ve all done this, sometimes replaying an event in our minds, over and over again, the way we wish it would have happened.
            It’s good to learn from the past, but looking too long in the rearview mirror can be dangerous. This is especially true when we’ve accumulated hurt feelings or disappointments that we keep revisiting.
            When we carry the burdens of the past, we cannot live joyfully now. We cannot anticipate a bright future, because all of it is shaded by the resentment we continue to harbor. A woman who found herself lying awake at night, stewing over long-ago injustices and regrets, chose to imagine herself stepping on each painful memory as if they were boulders heaped in a pile. With every step she climbed higher until she had moved beyond the pile to the serenity of a grassy meadow, drenched with sunlight and peace. She finally found contentment by realizing that while she cannot change the boulders, she can choose to step away from them. In fact, by putting them beneath her, she could use them to elevate her life to a better place. 
            There’s wisdom in the Maori proverb “Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows fall behind you.” When we let the past stay in the past and turn our attention to that which is bright and promising, our hearts feel renewed energy and our step is lighter. Not only that, but we become a blessing to others, as well. When we take control of our thoughts and look for the good we can do, we become kinder, less focused upon ourselves, and more pleasant to be around.
            Another word for this positive, forward-looking approach to life is forgiveness. Sometimes we simply need to forgive someone who has wronged us. And just as often, we need to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness doesn’t mean we are happy with what happened. It just means we no longer give the past the power to control our present. It means we have chosen to move forward into a positive future. 

This message seems to wrap up my thoughts exactly.  As I choose to move forward, no matter what may lie ahead, I will find the freedom to enjoy my life more fully if I will let go of what I can’t control and forgive what I could have, hoping to do better in the future.

I am so grateful and blessed that I KNOW that this principal is true and I know HOW to access it.  For only through Jesus Christ can I truly be saved from fear and/or doubt causing me to hold my breath and not want climb over the boulders of my life.  Only through Jesus Christ can I do what Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin’s mother counseled “Come what may, and love it!”  That means – “BREATH Wendi. Breath and climb, while looking for the good in THIS moment.”

That is my hope and prayer as we venture through whatever lies ahead for our future.  I leave this with you, in the name of Jesus Christ, our Savior, Amen.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *