My husband is an angel in my life.
I have this picture of him on the lock-screen of my phone so I can have a gentle reminder everyday to be grateful for this man.
One of my favorite things that he does for me is to HELP ME! He has a knack for just about anything. He can figure out how things work or how to make them work faster than I ever can.
Like this blog and the FANTASTIC app he put on my phone so I can now blog without lugging out the laptop and fussing with pictures needing to be resized, causing my precious laptop to fill up it’s available memory space.
But the last three years have been brutally hard because this wonderful man has had so much put on his plate that he didn’t have the time to help me as much as I was used to.
But that’s okay.
The last three years, although painfully difficult and far less productive than I was used to, taught me a lot about myself. I learned to do my best and that my best was enough, not because it had to be but because it caused a chain of ripple effects that allowed other people opportunities to learn and grow.
That’s a pretty cool experience to learn from and it also taught me to not fear so much what I do, as long as I am striving to do my best, to love others, as well as myself, and to focus on pleasing Heavenly Father.
So, with “our future” looming around the corner, I am not seeking my usual “let’s plan it out” approach and instead I am finding the courage to just do my best each day and let our future bloom before us.
No, this approach is not easy, but I know it is inspired because this is not my norm. I usually want to plan EVERYTHING! That’s just me, I’m a planner. So is Paul. But we are choosing to not plan our lives so much and instead trust the Master Planner more.
This reminds me of an experience I had with Paul’s maternal grandfather, Grandpa Swensen.
It must have been a holiday because all the extended family was at Paul’s grandparent’s house. Everyone was busy running from here to there, so I found myself a quiet spot on the living couch.
I remember thinking that I needed to be responsible and plan out my next week: attending classes, then studying, while still making time to prepare for my Primary class that I was still trying to get the hang of teaching. But as I planned, I got deeper into my calendaring and started to plan more and more things to do or could get done.
Just as I was about to fully load my calendar, Grandpa walked by and then stopped. I could feel him looking at me, so I stopped what I was doing and loving looked up at him (oh how I love that man!)
The look on his face was filled with so much love and joy for me, I can still feel it now. He stood there, giving me a simple smile and said, “What are you doing?” I told him I was planning what I needed to do and then he said, “Do you know what God says about planning?”
“No,” I said.
He smiled and said, “Man makes plans and God laughs.”
I must have had a perplexed look on my face because I didn’t understand. Didn’t God, or Heavenly Father, want me to be responsible?
Thankfully Grandpa understood what I was thinking and simply said, “Instead of planning your life, live it! All this work for what may change in a moment. Simply live life!”
His eyes kissed me on the cheek and he walked away. . . To simply live his life.
I learned a lot from that man, and still do. I remember that I put my planner down and joined the party that was going on all around me. So that is what I am going to do right now.
No, I don’t have the answers to so many of our deepest questions:
• How long will we continue to live in Costa Rica?
• Is it wise to buy a second car in this country? (Black car nightmare)
• How long will we homeschool? What is best for each of our children? What do they need? Will our youngest be okay continuing to grow up in a foreign culture?
• Retirement? What about Paul’s career and what to do once the kiddos move on to adulthood (only 9 years away)?
• What is next for us? Own a house again, keep renting, move to another country?
No, I don’t have any of these answers, but I did find peace today in knowing that I am not the only one with balls up in the air and it’s okay. I am so thankful for the people Heavenly Father draws me towards, like this lady here. There are hidden treasures in each of us and I love it when truth is found. What joy and comfort it can bring.
Right now, I think that I’m at peace with putting my trust in the Lord, taking His hand and walking through the foggy at seems to still be all around me because I know that THIS part of my life is inspired and that feels good!
So, only time will tell what the future holds, but I’m thankful to hold onto the one true thing that I need . . . my faith in Christ. He has always given me the help that I need when I need it. So why doubt now.
Thanks for listening,