This was earlier today.
I was on my drive home from the temple, feeling a bit dehydrated, and saw a “pipa fría” cart on the side of the road.
That’s “cold coconut water” for you non-Spanish readers. 😉
It was only 350 colones (58 cents – U.S.A.) and I had a 500 colones coin on me (83 cents – U.S.A.). So I stopped near the man and he quickly handed me a coconut, in exchange for my coin. I didn’t want to hold up traffic while waiting for “25 cents” to come back to me, so I told him to keep the change. The man put his hands together and started praised me, and he thanked me for my generosity.
Wow! How rich are we? Or is he the rich one?🤷🏻♀️ Because e’s the one who actually KNOWS the value of the coins in the ash trays of our cars.
I proceeded to drive away from the man, while enjoying my cold beverage, and began thinking how easy today’s blog post will be. I thought to myself, “I’ll just take this snap shot of a moment in the reality of my life and show how sweet my life can be sometimes. That will be a quick and easy way to do my blog today!”
But then this happened. . .
This can either mean Paul didn’t join us for dinner tonight or one of my kiddos got sent to their room at dinner time and was so upset that they missed dinner and are now asleep for the night. They possibly even cried themselves to sleep.
Not my favorite Mommy moment.
I’m so sad when this happens. It breaks my heart to be a mother when moments like this occur, and they seem to occur more and more the older my kids get. I feel so frustrated and even scared to think what that child is thinking or feeling about me or about themselves.
In moments like this, the temptation to NOT be a mother starts to pelt me. It hits me like dirt being blown by the wind into my face. I turn and try to run from it, but it just surrounds me. That’s when doubt starts to fill my heart and rush through my mind. . . But then I STOP!!
And I choose to remember a scripture that I read last year that REALLY impacted me and helped me to learn WHO I am and what work I have been given, assigned, and am privileged to be available to do.
Least that wicked one have power IN you, and REMOVE YOU out of YOUR place.
This scripture impacted me so strongly when I read it, especially at a time when my life was a complete mess (at least from my perspective it was) and I “thought” I was the problem. But the Spirit taught me back then that I was EXACTLY where the Lord needed me to be and that I was not listening to Him, if I felt like quitting. He would never encourage me to quit, He encourages us to stand in Holy Places.
Then I felt I needed to re-read the verse above it.
Wow!!! I NEEDED to not only hear this truth but to act on it in faith. I am TERRIFIED that I’m going to lose my family when I speak the truth that I feel needs to be heard. I fear that they are going to hate me and curse me to never be a part of their lives. What ugly thoughts these are!!
But when I feel this way, it is usually after I have had to re-direct what is going on in my home, and that can make my family not very happy with me.
But if I don’t do it, who will?
Better question, who SHOULD?!?
In President Eyring’s talk to the sisters last October, he clearly stated that it is the Mother’s responsibility to nurture the family. Yes, these “mommy moments” usually happen when Paul isn’t home, but I actually think that this sometimes is a blessing. Because later, when he does hear what is going on, and he supports me, the kids can more quickly feel that they need to shape up and act as they should.
For this very reason, I am SO THANKFUL that my children have a father who loves and honors their mother!
So even though being a mother tonight was TOUGH!!! I KNOW that what I am doing is called of God and that He has my back, as well as my children’s. And when I have to practice tough love and keep my kids home from an activity, so they can learn a value lesson in loving others as ourselves, I can find the courage to see it through, and then hold onto my hope and faith that what I did was beneficial and ONE DAY my kids will call me blessed.
Deep breath Wendi! All things are for our good! 😉