It has been a long 6 weeks. I got sick first with a nasty bug that was flying all over the place, from the United States, to England, all the way to Central America. Everyone was catching this bug, and it hit everyone pretty hard!
But just as I was getting over this bug, I was hit with a kidney stone attack. Boy was that ugly. I felt overwhelmed but I thought it would pass quickly. I soon learned that kidney stones can take WEEKS to finally pass, if surgery is not required sooner.
That was my initial goal, avoid surgery at all costs. But I soon learned that my health was worth more than what it would cost to get me better. I also learned that the more stress we allow to be put on ourselves, the sicker we can become.
I had a lot stacking up against me, and all at once it seemed. And no matter “how brave” or “how strong” I tried to be, I couldn’t stop these illnesses or issues from happening. I also learned that I couldn’t even handle the smallest needs, like breathing on my own. Boy are anxiety attacks evil!
But through it all, I was NEVER once left alone! I was blessed with friends at every turn: from Sheila and Katherine, to Alice and Kevin, to my dearest friend Jaime and Paul. My kids were always cared for and my spirit was being looked after, while we waited for my body to pass this trial.
I’m still not completely “okay.” I wish I could text people that I was “all better,” but I’m not. I don’t have my full energy, and I am still suffering from bloating, tightness in my chest and torso, and occasional anxiety attacks. I’m scared that these won’t pass. . .
But then I am reminded of Him.
Today’s Family Devotional taught me something very important. It taught me to be grateful for ALL things. THIS principle WILL help me to endure this trial, to its end, and it will also allow me to move past it when it is over. It will help me breath, serve, rest, and see the good that is happening all around me right now.
I love this video, because although I had VERY different plans for the last 6 weeks, as well as the next 18 weeks to come (even for the rest of this year), I must choose to have FAITH that whatever does end up happening, it is EXACTLY what we all need to have happen.
“To have faith is to have confidence in something or someone.”
Faith, Bible Dictionary, LDS.org
I can’t see into the future. I wish I could most days, because I want to see if the future meets MY expectations. But doing this is contrary to what I know is right. I hadn’t realized, until now, how much pressure I am putting on our trip to Utah.
I am expecting things to happen that just might not be possible yet. I am also guarded and uptight, expecting relationship issues and negative confrontation. I honestly don’t know for sure what the next 18 weeks hold for our family, but I do know what I would like to have happen for us.
But even with all the planning, all the tickets and activities investigated, I need to trust that life is perfectly perfect, messed up plans and all.
I’m thankful that when I DO the little commandments that I am given to do each day, I can find power, peace and comfort that “all is well, peace be still.”
Here’s to the next 18 weeks. Let see what GOOD does come, instead of only looking at the interrupted plans.