Relocating to Virginia,  Wendi's Daily Blog

A New Beginning: Day #19 – You Already Know

Everything around me seems uncertain.
My weary heart can’t take much more surprise.
I wish there was a point on the horizon.
Something I could see with my own eyes.
I need to tell you that I’m scared.
I feel completely unprepared.
And nothing’s what it was two weeks ago.

But you already know.

You already know.

Everything I’m scared of.
Everything I hope.
You hold my tomorrow,
And all tomorrow holds.

I can’t seem to find the easy answers.
Someday I hope the suffering makes sense.
I just need to know that you are with me.
Even if you keep me in suspense.

And we talk so much these days.
Because I have so much to say.
You stay and listen to me closely, even though. . . you already know.

You already know.

Everything I’m scared of.
Everything I hope.
You hold my tomorrow.
And all tomorrow holds.

Whatever I’m feeling.
Whatever is coming.
Whenever the ending. . .
You’re already there!

You go before me!
You go behind me!
Wherever I’m going . . .
You’re already there.

But you already know.

You already know.

JJ Heller – “You Already Know

I woke up this morning filled with worry. I ached to go back to before last week, when I was sure everything was going to work out just the way I thought my life could turn out.

Then I crashed and burned – mentally, emotionally, physically . . . and then spiritually. It scared me! It scared me terribly! What was I to do? Where was I (one of the adults in this family) to turn for solutions . . . because I couldn’t find any!

Thankfully, I had my extra oil.

Do you know the story of the 10 virgins? It’s one of my favorites! When I crashed last week, it felt like my lamp light got blown out for a moment, and then the rains came pouring down. Once I got myself “to shelter,” it took me a moment to realize that I actually had extra oil in a pouch, waiting for such a time as this.

As I pulled my metaphoric oil pouch out, a sense of preparedness washed over me. Although I do not want to be going through this experience, I must accept that the “rain falls upon the just, as well as the unjust,” and this experience we are facing is just how life is calculated to be. . . full of changes!

D&C 88:6-7, 11-13

6 He that ascended up on high, as also he descended below all things, in that he comprehended all things, that he might be in all and through all things, the light of truth;
7 Which truth shineth. This is the light of Christ. As also he is in the sun, and the light of the sun, and the power thereof by which it was made.
11 And the light which shineth, which giveth you light, is through him who enlighteneth your eyes, which is the same light that quickeneth your understandings;
12 Which light proceedeth forth from the presence of God to fill the immensity of space—
13 The light which is in all things, which giveth life to all things, which is the law by which all things are governed, even the power of God who sitteth upon his throne, who is in the bosom of eternity, who is in the midst of all things.

My extra oil is His light! How to access His light was a gift that was given to me while I lived in Costa Rica. There I learned who my Savior is and what His purposes are. There I learned how to seek Him and find Him. And there I learned to take responsibility for myself, which is the greatest gift a man or woman can be given!

And because I have agency, I can fight! I can knowingly and willingly turn to Him, for He is my missing peace. He is my shelter from the storms of life. He is the house I am seeking to find shelter in, as the waves of life come crashing down.

I’m so very thankful for the teaching, and preparation I have received in my life thus far. And I’m thankful for experiences like this that test me and therefore allow me to practice turning to Him. For He is the only one who holds the power to save me (us) when all else is lost.

Highlights from our last few days:

• Kids slept over at Paul’s cousin’s home, giving Paul and I some much needed time alone. We enjoyed dinner and then dessert at two of downtown Williamsburg’s hip cafés. It felt great to be in a some-what “back to normal” scene. Not a ton of people, but enough to enjoy our time out and about.

• HomeChurch with Paul’s cousins. El Gringo and Paul shared messages during our meeting. They were just what we needed. We enjoyed yet another yummy lunch and had fun socializing with their friends.

• We loved listening to our nephew share his experiences from the church mission he just completed in California. His stories made me feel happy that our own son has 3 more months to finish his mission. I hope he enjoys them to their fullest!

• We were blessed to have the privilege to receive Father’s Blessings for the start of another school year (our 6th Homeschooling)! The promises and words of encouragement were just what we needed at this unique time of our lives. Thank you to my faithful husband Paul for doing all he can to provide such sacred opportunities for each of his family members.

• For our Family Night Activity this week, we picked up a little treat at Sonic and then drove to see the Richmond, Virginia temple lot. While driving, our missionary called and chatted with each of us for a bit. It was a wonderful family night after all. I look forward to the day that all 6 of us can go inside this Temple together as a family!! That will be a glorious day that I hope will come to fruition.

• Lastly, today the kids and I found a library. It has been years since we have had use of a library!!! It was the most hope I have felt, in the last few weeks, that maybe we can find a place to go on hot, humid, or rainy days that make RV life almost unbearable. There are standard Covid-restrictions (face masks, 6 feet apart) but they do allow at least one hour of time “in” the library to walk around and enjoy their resources. Joy oh joy! 💕

• Tonight was pizza night. I didn’t think it would turn out as well as it did, especially with limited supplies and a falles round at proofing yeast. But it did! And everyone thoroughly enjoyed something that we used to make quite often “at home.” Another tender mercy!!

Happy Tuesday,

Artwork of women found at this website.

One Comment

  • Allison

    This is just beautiful! I love that poem so much! I love that you are counting your blessings! It makes me especially happy that you have found a library!! Yay!! Loves to you all!! ❤️❤️❤️

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