I had a dream the other night; it was cathartic. In the dream I was dancing, frolicking, hopelessly happy and surrounded by all those that bring me joy and solace. I was clothed in a light, airy dress that draped my body, beautifully expressing my virtuous spirit and heart, as well as drawing attention to my eyes, my face, and my smile. I felt free, light as a feather, yet purposeful.
Then the set began to change, ever so slightly, but then rapidly. My dearest friends were moved about, upon a stage. They moved in ways that I could still see them, but they were now being surrounded by walls with windows, or doors, to see through. But they were now trapped behind them.
I did not fret, for I knew we had ways of communicating still, despite the walls. So we continued to talk, and smile, and share our hearts with one another . . . until my walls came to surround me.
My walls moved around me quickly. The first one that I stood before was a wall with a medicine cabinet hung upon it. As I opened it, it was flooded with prescription medicine bottles, creams, and tubes that spoke immediately to my heart and mind, forcing them to wake up to a truth I had not been remembering, a fate I had been distracted from living . . . I had cancer.
In a dramatic way, I swirled about, trying to force this truth from my mind. I flew to the ground and began to sob. Oh how I cried as this truth was being remembered. Oh how I wept for the loss of control that I felt racing all over my body and into my heart. Oh how I grieved for the time I wondered I still might have, before happiness was threatened to leave me. And oh how I needed the support of those dear, cherished friends that were now behind their own walls.
Before I could question if they knew of my fate, they were all of a sudden there, surrounding me. Their loving arms were encircling me, in what felt like a force for good to prevail. Each of them held a hand to one another, while extending a loving, gentle hand upon me.
That was when the women began to softly sing. Their song was a womanly lullaby, filled with the light of hope, with prayers of strength and the love they wanted for me to have in order to not let this truth conquer my divinity. The experience was powerful and it did not end abruptly. It lingered on as I gently began to wake up. Even as I realized it had only been a dream, I could feel them still with me, surrounding me in their love. Then I woke up.
Cancer. What an ugly word. But when I think of cancer, I do not only think of a life-threatening disease found in a body, I think of it as a word that describes any challenge that threatens to destroy our divinity. I woke up to the reality that I feel that a cancer is attacking my happiness, my love for living life, my health, and my purpose on earth. I was not surprised I dreamed this dream. I needed it. It was truly cathartic.
As I struggled to start my day, I prayed in sincerity for the help that I needed to face what I felt was cancer eroding my life as I once knew it. I sincerely shared with God that I had no idea how to fight this cancer, or if it was fightable, but that I needed help to live this day. After my prayer, I found the strength to get up, get ready, and to then move throughout the day as needed. But as I did, I also felt those familiar heavenly angels surrounding me.
First, it came in a text from a courageous woman I had the fortune to speak with the night before. She simply texted these words to me . . .
“There be more with us then there be with them. We have a host of angels cheering us on … on both sides of the veil. I believe that. We women of light need one another. You are under attack because you are a threat. Because of conversations like the one we had yesterday.”
She didn’t know my dream. She only knew I was struggling to find the sunlight in my life. Her words made me immediately think of the beloved picture above. This work of art has helped so many women to find strength from it. I thought of how I need to believe that more ARE with me, then are against me. As I continued to move throughout my day, I continued to receive other texts from my earthly angels: Allison, Sarene, and Tiffany. Then an email from my oldest friend Jaime. She rarely reaches out to me . . .this was when I KNEW I was being sent angels to purposefully support me.
As I pondered this divine kind of love I was being shown, I KNEW it was the hand of God allowing me to know that the cancer I feel may threaten or even destroy what I once had, but it can never, ever destroy me. I am whole because I am His. 💕
Then my husband came into the room. He sat right next to me. I decided to be brave and share my heart and thoughts with him. He listened. He then encouraged me to turn around, away from the opposition/cancer I was fighting and to instead face God. By doing so, he encouraged, I would allow myself to face those who love me and will never allow me to be alone. Paul had no idea I had the dream I had, nor that so many of my earthly angels had already reached out to me.
Also, as we talked, our children decided to sing a song together. I listened to Paul share his love for me, at the same time as our children sang in the other room. It sounded like angels were singing . . . just like in my dream. I decided that I would accept this joy, this strength, this enabling power to live! I was being given an opportunity to see beyond this life and into eternity. I was being given a moment to not let what is happening here, right now, have such hold on me, and to instead feel a TRUST in what we are here for. I was given a moment to feel loved, seen, cared for, and prayed for by the ones I need most . . . my own eternal family. 💕
I hesitate to share such a sacred experience, except I feel it is too great for me to keep all to myself. Maybe no one will read this right now and find purpose or help in it . . . but one day it will be there for the one who does need it. And that is you! I pray that in your moment of need, that you will be willing to ask for the help that you need from God and that He WILL bless you too to SEE your earthly angels and know that you are NOT alone. I hope to be standing by you too, even if just in spirit.