Costa Rica,  Wendi's Daily Blog

Quarantine Day #87 – Fear and Trembling!

I awoke this morning with the weight of my world upon me. The thoughts and feelings I have had, while listening to my friends share what is happening in their worlds, mixed with my own pushed upon me . . . And I felt smashed.

I couldn’t move my body, but I willed it to change its position. I couldn’t push the thoughts and feelings out of my mind, so I stopped resisting them and instead let them be like clouds passing by. My heart ached and moaned in sheer grief, seeking solace. But where can I turn for peace?

So I prayed.

I poured out my truth to my God and told Him how my heart and soul did not want to go through this journey we must take. I told Him of my disappointment and fear, as well as my doubt and weakness. Once my thoughts and feelings were addressed, I then resolved to obey what I knew I had to do, even though I didn’t want to. I chose to get up and act. To do my best. For that is all I can give. But I knew my faith was so very weak.

So I prayed for help to strengthen my faith, for my will to see this journey through to the end, and that is when I was encouraged to complete my daily scripture study in the Come Follow Me curriculum. As I listened to Alma 7, a flood of love and hope surged into my heart, mind, and soul. The waters of living truth washed off the grime of doubt and despair, and instead left me feeling clean and full with purpose.

22 And now my beloved brethren, I have said these things unto you that I might awaken you to a sense of your duty to God, that ye may walk blameless before him, that ye may walk after the holy order of God, after which ye have been received.
23 And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.
24 And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works.
25 And may the Lord bless you, and keep your garments spotless, that ye may at last be brought to sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and the holy prophets who have been ever since the world began, having your garments spotless even as their garments are spotless, in the kingdom of heaven to go no more out.

These words were so powerful that I had to listen to the entire chapter once more. As I did so, I felt a renewed purpose grow in me, a hope that I’m not forsaken nor being led astray. I am on a journey. . .

19 For I perceive that ye are in the paths of righteousness; I perceive that ye are in the path which leads to the kingdom of God; yea, I perceive that ye are making his paths straight.
20 I perceive that it has been made known unto you, by the testimony of his word, that he cannot walk in crooked paths; neither doth he vary from that which he hath said; neither hath he a shadow of turning from the right to the left, or from that which is right to that which is wrong; therefore, his course is one eternal round.
21 And he doth not dwell in unholy temples; neither can filthiness or anything which is unclean be received into the kingdom of God; therefore I say unto you the time shall come, yea, and it shall be at the last day, that he who is filthy shall remain in his filthiness.

I loved how the scriptures spoke of Christ and “His paths”. I loved what I gained from listening today. It gave me hope that the way I choose to live close to Him, allows Him to come and bless the lives of those my path takes me to. Including my own life and the lives of my family and friends.

These scriptures gave me a vision. One where I literally imagine myself bushwhacking in the jungle, as straight and narrow a path that I can. And as I do so, I discover a person here, and another person there, that is lost or trapped or injured. I am then able to call out to the Lord to come and administer to them, for I have made a path that is as straight and as narrow as possible for Him to easily get to them. But it is up to each of these people to choose to “Come, Follow Him.”

I don’t know what our living in Costa Rica did for others, let alone what it fully did even for myself or my family members. Nor do I know what the next journey will be like (jungle or dessert or mountainous ranges) . . . but the scriptures I studied today gave me hope! They gave me purpose! They gave me perspective! And for that I am profoundly grateful!!!

“God be thanked for the matchless gift of His Divine Son! “

Happy Saturday and Fast Sunday tomorrow!

One Comment

  • Allison

    I’m sorry you were feeling so weighed down but I’m glad you were able to find peace in the scriptures!! What a blessing they are!!

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